I watched 300 today and am honestly not too sure what I think about it. I mean besides the sheer kickass nature of the fighting, a lot of it is pretty cheesy. I mean, there was a scene where a goat was playing a freaking clarinet or something. It was very confusing.

I must say, though, that it did portray the Spartans as just the most badass people ever. I did kind of want to fight the people I went to the movie with for glory…FOR SPARTA. Either that, or let out a loud battle cry…in the Lincoln Center AMC. That would’ve shown them. Yeah.

Anyway, that not what this post is really about. I wanted to bring something up that irked me. It was very confusing and am still pondering this subject right now.

How the hell did a guy with sword hands get so damn obese? HE HAS NO HANDS TO EAT WITH. Like, sure, I can see him hunting for food. I can even see him cutting up the food and preparing it. But what I want to know is how he is so freaking big. Maybe his fat wife has forks for hands, I don’t know. That’d be kinda cute…soulmate type stuff…his ‘lobster’ if you will. I’m just talking now. Maybe they have just a utensil-limbed family. A son with soup spoon hands. A daughter with spork feet. And you know what, he probably wishes the son had the sporks, not the daughter. And he probably cries about it.